How did that happen? All of a sudden we've reached the final countdown before the great Spawning, when the time remaining can be measured in days rather than weeks or months, and it's all frighteningly real instead of being a distant date in the future.
It's sort of like that feeling you have when you're preparing for a holiday, with a mounting sense of anticipation and excitement, but without knowing when you're actually supposed to be catching your flight. Your bags are packed, you have your passport in your pocket, and yet nobody's given you a departure time. And at the risk of extending that metaphor further, when our slot comes up on the departures board we won't have time to scoot around duty free, so I'm loading up on giant-size Toblerone already...
The Spawn itself has apparently been grinding away inside Mrs A's womb, but I'm uncomfortable asking for further details just in case it involves women's bits. Slightly too much information there - how exactly does it "grind"? Ew.
Meanwhile, in the Herts Ad offices we're debating the naming of coffee sizes in Starbucks, which are basically meaningless. For some reason Tall is actually the smallest size and not tall at all, followed by Grande for medium and Venti for the largest. Venti is apparently Italian for 20, because the cup holds 20 fluid ounces of caffeine-fuelled goodness. So now you know. Thanks Starbucks, for confusing everybody more than they are already when faced with a barrage of different coffee varieties...
Don't tell 'em your name, Pike!
ReplyDeleteWhy do they want to know your name when you buy a drink there - just to add to the confusion??? I tell them my name's Bob - screw the system!!!
Say your name is Costa.
ReplyDeleteSo you're the one buying Toblerone at airports? I wondered who the fools were that had been hoodwinked into thinking Toblerone - available in all good supermarkets - would be a bargain just because they're surrounded by designer sunglasses, alcohol and mini-models of aeroplanes.